one day i slowly floated away..

I've never been a blogger before..so here goes nothing. I've always had my reservations about it..but I think it's because I had people in my life that I didn't trust so I didn't want to put all my feelings out there.

So what has been going on in my life?

Alot..and then again..not alot. All at the same time.

Things have been going really great between my boyfriend and I. We have been having such good times lately..being spontaneous..having fun dates..good talks..and just growing closer together through everything going on with his dad since clearly I understand what it's like. I know that this is the man I will marry. I look forward to that day but for now I think we are just enjoying life how it is. There is no need to rush it. I always said that I wanted to marry a man that was like my stepdad in the sense of how he took care of my mom so amazingly and loved her throughout her whole battle with brain cancer. On our vacation I knew that my boyfriend was this type of man..from how he took care of his father the whole time and also how when i got sick with strep(..yes strep while i was in Punta Cana!) he took care of me...and not out of obligation but out of love. anyways..for once in my life I have nothing to complain about "boy-wise" and i couldn't be any happier :)

I hate my job. I am a retail slave to Forever 21 where I work hard, get paid too little, have to deal with rude customers, and sit there and wonder why in the world I went to college if this is what I'm going to have to do! I'm sure I'll rant and rave all about my job at some other juncture but for right now I'll just leave it at this.

I'm feeling the waves of discontentment again. I think that is one word that could accurately describe me at most points in my life. I am always discontent. I need adventure. i need something new. I am bored. And worse than all that..I am lonely. I'm living at home now..away from the dorm/apartment life where I always was with people. All my friends have gone there separate ways..getting married..having babies..taking amazing jobs somewhere else..and i'm stuck here. i have nobody to talk to..obviously I have my boyfriend and he is great..but sometimes you need someone you can talk to when things get rough with the boyfriend..or sometimes just a girls perspective on things. I have my best friend..but her life is super busy with her new job and the wedding coming up so soon. the other night i just cried and cried and cried and longed for someone to listen. I keep everything in and then it all comes out..like thundering waters..and I find myself sick of writing about what is going on..why tell myself what I already know? But it's the cycle that has always been...I start out trying to fold and tuck all the pain and feelings away neatly within me and it works for a short time but then I start becoming frantic when I realize there is no more room and it's like a start trying to shove and jam all those things deep down inside me...until then..it's too late..it's like an overstuffed suitcase or laundry basket. when there is no room, there is just NO room.. and the contents come spilling out..and then i get right back up and do it all over again.


wow..i just realized how much i rambled..

see..THAT folks is the effect of having nobody to talk to.. lol


goodnight all. i should get to bed at a decent time so i can be all ready to fold clothes and pick up after snotty little brats and their mothers.

yay

I finally decided to start a blog..I had one that i used just to put my writing on..but I haven't been on that in a while so I decided to start fresh with a more personal blog!