I'm feeling irritated for no apparent reason. I mean..there are a few contributors but nothing really huge.
a few things:
- I hate how people change for the worst
-I hate not being able to trust certain people
- I hate feeling like my life is forever going to consist of work
- how men and women will always be from seemingly different planets
- how I feel like life is passing me by and I'm claws in the wall trying to hang on to some remnant of the past.
- I hate not doing what I want to do; I'm becoming resentful in ways
- I feel like I have no true friends; aside from a few on GR
- how in a matter of seconds your life could just end.
Ugh. I think this weather is affecting my disposition.
That last point..yeah..scary moment yesterday. I don't know what happened. I was driving and honestly lost control of the car. I just felt it start to go a way that I hadn't intended..I don't know how I regained control but it could have been disastrous. There was a tree to my right side and many cars on my left. I don't feel like I was going too fast..well any faster than normal..and the roads didn't seem that wet anymore. So..I'm hoping that maybe it was just me driving too fast for the wet roads..rather than something being wrong with my car. It was so scary to say the least. I'm slightly afraid of driving today.
About Me
- Jamie
- Ambitious 27 year old that loves a good adventure and rich experiences. I'm still trying to figure out what I want in life. I'm a free spirit who has a genuine love for people and I make a mean meatloaf. I'm a complete bibliophile in every sense of the word and I love blogging about my literary endeavors. I'm obsessed with traveling and I have a passion for marketing. I'm just a little bundle of fun, too.
Aww *big hug* I had a scary moment like that driving a few years ago. I had a green light to turn left, and this white van ran the red light and kept on speeding straight through the intersection and almost t-boned my car. He didn't even slow down after that close call! As soon as I got through the intersection, I pulled over in a parking lot and just cried. Still freaks me out to this day thinking about what could have happened.
ReplyDeleteSince living in England, I've become a very resentful person just because I can't stand seeing all of these happy people walking around when I'm so unhappy. Doesn't seem fair! Although the past few weeks have been much better since I haven't had school to think about.
I find myself constantly comparing how I am now to how I used to be few years ago, and I'm grasping for that feeling of being content. It gets frustrating when you are so out of your comfort zone that you don't know what to do anymore, but hang in there! At some point it WILL get better!
I've had scary driving moments like that---just remember FOOT OFF THE GAS when that happens. Don't press the brake either. Feet off everything and turn the wheel the way the car is going and you'll pull out of it. Just some friendly "big sister" advice for ya! Be careful!
ReplyDeleteJamie, you sound so much like me when I was your age. I know you probably don't want to hear that but I really remember feeling those things and writing them too. If I could say anything to my younger self in my 20's it would be this: Don't be so serious, enjoy these carefree days where you can do whatever you want, stop worrying so much, and have fun. As f**ked up as my life was in my 20's I still managed to turn out ok in my 30's. You will too. All of this struggle you are going thru now will help you become the person you want to be. Try to relax and enjoy it. Don't rush it all. When you finally get peace of mind it's boring (trust me!).
I'm not at all trying to minimize your feelings either because I truly do know how hard it was to be that way.
I am feeling exactly the same things as you are! If you need to complain to someone about it all, I'm here.
ReplyDeleteI think we all have times when we feeling those feelings. I was sitting here reading thinking yeah I hate all those things too! My claws are trying to hold on to some part of the past too, a part where I left loved and happy and safe.
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone...sometimes the only thing that keeps the resentment at bay for me is my determination to NOT become a bitter old woman! And I conteract the bitterness with healthy (ha!) doses of sugar! :o)